Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, October 13, 2008

“Increase the awareness of fires; start a few.”
User:Dr. Skullthumper on fires

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Funny Quote of the Day: Sunday, October 12, 2008

“Plan B: The other other white meat ...plan.”
Vanity

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, October 11, 2008

“...The quote lives on in my heart. Also my userpage, which is nice, as my heart is always losing stuff.”
Forum:Favorite quotes

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, October 10, 2008

“Tonight, after you fall asleep, I'm going to claw out your friggin' eyes.”
Forum:Ask Hinoa

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, October 9, 2008

“An artist's depiction of a fruit bowl ninja. You see, the artist was actually trying to paint a fruit bowl at the time, and it was only when he finished and looked at the painting that he realized a ninja was hiding in front of him the whole time.”
Ninja

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, October 8, 2008

“I have nothing to declare but my own Genus.”
Oscar Wilde on being a Homo

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, October 7, 2008

“If you hear someone sneeze do not hesitate to say "God bless you". Atheists hate that.”
HowTo:Catch an Atheist

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, October 6, 2008

"1. The best keys to spread your message are Ctrl, C, and V.
2. Support redundancy, and post your own message based on the one above to show your support.
3. Preach to the choir instead of the congregation.
4. When in doubt, let the states decide
5. When for certain, let the states decide
6. It's the media's fault. Always.
7. Do not listen to the gentiles, no matter how good their points may be."

Ron Paul

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Funny Quote of the Day: Sunday, October 5, 2008

“I voted against, and now not even my tinfoil hat can block out the voices.”
Vote for me!

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, October 4, 2008

“I can count the number of trolls who actually read the site's contents on no hands - partly because there are none and partly because I don't need to count on my hands.”
UN:DENY

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, October 3, 2008

“I swear to the court for mercy on his gajyeoohdo my cruel before, fine, go if you want to create a conflict that green flowers are pieot before!”
The article red light, translated into Korean and back again

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, October 2, 2008

"Ah, walls. If the government is the foundation, and minorities are the floor that gets trampled on, then walls are the 'walls' that hold up the massive, domed ceiling of society."
Walls

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, October 1, 2008

“Maybe, but his spirit keeps clogging the drain.”
Boomer @ Unknown user's talkpage

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, September 30, 2008

DR. KIMBLE, STOP! --Cajek
I DIDN'T KILL MY WIFE!!! --Boomer
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE THE BLOODY GUN? --Cajek
BECAUSE I WAS BUSY KILLING THE WHORE NEXT DOOR! --Boomer
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE THE BLOODY SUICIDE NOTE?? --Cajek
BECAUSE I... what? --Boomer
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE THE BLOODY FOOTPRINT??? --Cajek
I... buh... just... what? --Boomer
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE THE BLOODY FOON???? --Cajek
I DON'T KNOW!!!! I just don't know. I'm sorry. So sorry... --Boomer

Cajek and Boomer... and that's all I can tell you about this one

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, September 29, 2008

“If a header does not already exist for this day, please create one. If this day does not exist, don't bother.”
Uncyclopedia's Quick Vote for Deletion page

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Funny Quote of the Day: Sunday, September 28, 2008

“a Canadian who doesn't play hockey is like an American who doesn't stereotype people from other countries.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, September 27, 2008

“Iddy biddy's name is Kitty Carlisle? Dittum's is fluffy wuffy dipsy so lala cute!”
Cute

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, September 26, 2008

“I wasted the first 45 minutes of my hour typing about why "noses" were coming from the closet.”
THE on Why?:Are there voices coming from the closet?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, September 25, 2008

“Intestinal parasites CAN'T be claimed as dependents on your federal income tax return.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, September 24, 2008

“The only thing money can't buy is poverty.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, September 23, 2008

“We speak 200,000 languages! ...Granted, we may not actually understand 199,985 of them, but as long as there's an online text translator somewhere, we will ensure that all native speakers of Braille, 1337, Kenny McCormick and Beatboxing are able to loosely comprehend at least a few of our articles.”
Uncyclopedia:10 things you did not know about Uncyclopedia

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, September 22, 2008

Did you know that... violence is not the answer?
  • ...but it gives you time while you figure out the answer?

  • ...but it's a lot of fun?

  • ...but it brings up plenty of new and interesting questions?

  • ...unless your question is "What sells a PG-13 film?"

  • ...I just got it wrong on purpose?

Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Sunday, September 21, 2008

“Crutches are like funny anecdotes, while wheelchairs are like sad stories”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, September 20, 2008

“While love is stronger than hate, both are actually weaker than vinegar”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, September 19, 2008

“It is better to have loved and lost than to find yourself living with a psycho for the rest of your life”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, September 18, 2008

“Hollywood has only actually filmed one chase scene, and they simply reuse it over and over”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, September 17, 2008

“Shalom is one of the names of this big beardy dude who lives upstairs, who a lot of Hebrew speakers know, and many of them are a bit scared by him.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, September 16, 2008

“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, September 15, 2008

“Despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Sunday, September 14, 2008

“When it says 'Do not try at home', it actually means 'Do not try this at all'”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, September 13, 2008

“It was Lee Harvey Oswald, I swear.”
The Man On The Grassy Knoll on committing the Perfect Murder

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, September 12, 2008

“Dectective Dawg knows what you did last summer - went to the beach... In Murderville!”
HowTo:Commit the Perfect Murder

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, September 11, 2008

“Did you know that the hills are alive with the sound of music? ...and that if you stop singing you're committing murder?”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, September 10, 2008

“The part of my brain that allows me to experience happiness was returned to me. The part that remembers who stole it in the first place is still missing, though.”
Uncyclopedia's Village Dump

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, September 9, 2008

“It's beddy-bye time! Only replace "beddy" with ethnic and "bye" with cleansing.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, September 8, 2008

“I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, September 6, 2008

“life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate.”
Life

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, September 5, 2008

“At four o'clock, all the honest politicians will shrink down to two feet.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, September 4, 2008

“You have partial custody and may see your base on weekends.”
All Your Base Are Belong To Us

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, September 3, 2008

“He who laughs last will probably be an evil maniac with his finger on a large red button.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, September 2, 2008

“Words that sound similar are dangerous enough; Words that sound identical are even worse.”
Homophobia

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, September 1, 2008

In the old days you used to be able to fuck pretty much anything you fancied, unless of course it was a dinosaur.
Gay

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Funny Quote of the Day: Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Pathological Liar, seen here after working all night on the Constitution going on a binge of crack cocaine and telling an especially juicy lie.
Pathological liar

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Funny Quote of the Day: Saturday, August 30, 2008

Type V Error: You have no fucking idea what you're doing, do you?
Statistics

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Funny Quote of the Day: Friday, August 29, 2008

Check it out... see that? The Dilophosaurus is missing. He's eating a fat guy who pressed a fucking button. That's why you don't press the fucking buttons.
Jurassic Park

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Funny Quote of the Day: Thursday, August 28, 2008

"Oscar Wilde's wit is as sharp as a bandsaw and twice as insightful."
Oscar Wilde

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Funny Quote of the Day: Wednesday, August 27, 2008

“If your parents do not have any children, there is a 100% chance that you won't have any either.”
Did You Know?

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Funny Quote of the Day: Tuesday, August 26, 2008

“If you strike me down I shall become more dead than you can ever imagine.”
Captain Obvious

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Funny Quote of the Day: Monday, August 25, 2008

“C-3PO, a character from the Star Wars universe, is some sort of wonderful mechanical man.”
C-3PO

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